My Comforter, My God
My family is a little different from most. We don’t just blend into a crowd. We don’t go unnoticed. We are a family that is not traditional. We are bi-racial. We are not bound by DNA. Our bond is love. My daughters are adopted from China and each
one of them is a “special” child.
It is very difficult raising and homeschooling children with
“special” needs. At times I stoop so low
as to blame God for our situation. I blame Him for their pain and
conditions. I get angry at Him for not
miraculously healing them or not giving me answers. I treat God like he is supposed to be at my
beckon call and do just as I ask. I have
placed my joy in Him on hold and traded it for bitterness. I ask, “God, why don’t You heal Eden?” Or
“why did You create her to beat and slam her head?” “God, why did you leave Phoebe an orphan for
13 years and 11 months?” “God, why did
you give Lyric congenital glaucoma?” “God, why did Tilly Lynn get so sick when
she was little and have lasting side effects.”
Here is His gentle answer… “I did not cause that, but I will
take care of you and them.” He is so
right! God is not the cause of my pain,
but He is the Comfort in it. God is
good. He is holy and righteous and
just. He created a perfect world where
there was no pain, no death, only beauty.
When we as mankind sinned against this holy God, He had no choice but to
punish our sin. He placed a curse on
man, woman, the serpent and the earth, but He loved us so much that in the same
breath of a curse, He made a way of salvation.
In the pain of breaking God’s heart, and the pain of living with the
consequences of her sin, Eve felt God’s comfort because the God she had
experienced so intimately in the Garden of Eden had made her a promise that the
serpent would be crushed!
So, living under the curse, bad things are going to
happen. There will be death, and cancer,
orphans and mental illness. There will
be heartbreak and sadness. There will be
war and evil of all kind. BUT, there
will always be God.
God did not cause Eden to slam and beat her head. He did not cause Phoebe to be an orphan for
13 years and 11 months. He did not cause
Lyric to be born with glaucoma. God did
not cause Tilly Lynn’s fever. God did
not cause my daughters’ biological parents to abandon them. God did not cause me and Brandon to be
barren.
Here is what God did…God knew what the circumstances of my
girls’ lives would be like before they were born. He knew the hardships they would face. He knew they would be abandoned. God knew my girls intimately before He formed
them in their mothers’ wombs. He had a
plan for them and He created them for His glory. God prepared mine and Brandon’s hearts for
these girls. He planted a seed of love
for the orphan in our hearts and in His perfect timing; He brought us together
as a family. In the curse of this life,
God provided His comfort to 4 beautiful orphan girls and to a barren
couple. He is my comfort at all hours of
the nights as Eden screams and cries and hits for hours at a time. He is my comfort when my 16 year old
struggles with first through third grade work (because she was not taught much
before she came to us) and I worry about her future. He is my comfort with every passing day that
we don’t have Lyric and Tilly Lynn and they continue to live in poverty while
we live in plenty.
At times it may feel like I am all alone, but that is
impossible. The Bible tells me that He
will never leave me. So when you are
hurting and angry and are playing the blame game like me, remember that God is
not the cause of your pain, He is your comfort in it. Fall into His ever loving arms and rest in
His undying love for you.
For my sweet friend struggling tonight, fall into His arms. He loves you. He designed you. He knows you intimately. You are His delight. No matter life circumstances, He is there with you. He is there to comfort you. He is there to grow you in your faith in the midst of your struggle. Hold tight to His promises. You are His and nothing will change that!!! Remember, He has prepared a home for you where there is no curse, no sickness, no mental illness, no orphans and no evil. Trust His heart, He created yours!
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